How to Find your Inner Voice
A path to discovering and listening to your true self
You think you know what you believe and that it’s even easier saying it.
You assume you know your character, and you understand everything about you.
The reality is, you know very little about yourself. And I will explain why.
Your thinking is the outcome of your experiences, upbringing, education, and social norms.
So which thoughts are being yours? Unfortunately, very few.
There is a thin line between your thoughts and thoughts coming from all external sources.
This problem leads to internal confusion, poor decision making, and overthinking. Lack of thought process is a challenge to understand your true personal identity.
Greek philosophers highlighted the importance of ‘Know thyself.’ It means understanding your character at the deepest level possible. The more you search your inner self, the greater your quality of life and comprehension of the world.
In theory, this sounds great, but how do we do it?
Spend time completely alone
Solitude brings out the pure aspects of your character, without any filter whatsoever.
You don’t care what people will say. Nobody can judge you.
You have no fear. Whatever you say or do remains private.
All your actions are self-driven. By tracking what you are doing, you will better understand what attracts you.
External influences are not in your way. It’s all you.
You will see what you enjoy, what you hate, and how you want to spend every minute of your day. You will better comprehend who you are.
My suggestion is you take a few days off by yourself. The longer, the better. When possible, try to spend a few hours a day alone. You will not regret it.
“In solitude I find my answers.” — Kristen Butler
Filter everything people tell you
Everyone around you tells you things for different reasons.
Each person has specific motives for spending time to talk to you.
Good motives are getting love, care, understanding, building a friendship. The bad ones are manipulation and gossip.
Focus on listening with your ears, stomach, and heart to understand these motives.
Screen the information you are getting and cross-check it after. Talking to people is a form of education, so ensure it is correct.
When receiving a strong opinion, analyze it well, and make sure it does not overshadow your own voice.
Filter everything you listen to. Contemplate their truthfulness.
Decide what is of value and worth keeping, and discard what is useless or wrong.
This process of selection elevates your self-understanding and self-esteem. It puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.
You get to choose the information you accept and the people you want to spend more time with.
Confront your fears
Look at them in the eye and face them.
Putting your fears to bed is putting your inner voice to bed with them.
Write down all your fears and put together an action plan for each of them. Stop fearing about things you don’t have any control over. Focus on the fears you do control and work on the solutions.
Nobody said it’s easy, as fear is the strongest negative emotion.
If you fear heights, go up a mountain. If you fear public speaking, go up on stage!
Your fears are blocking your inner voice. Say ‘Hello’ to them.
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” — Louisa May Alcott
Learn to say ‘No’
If you are a people pleaser, you will always say ‘Yes.’ But you will be saying a big ‘No’ to yourself.
Learning to say ‘No’ is a key step in listening to your voice.
It’s the most practical action of standing up for yourself. Appreciating your values and time while putting you in a position of control.
By saying ‘No’ to people’s requests, you are saying ‘Yes’ to your priorities. You open room to things that matter to you.
Daily practice of saying ‘No’ allows you to distinguish what you want to do and what you don’t. It is not the same as thinking about it.
To be decisive and see your actions take form brings out your voice. It strengthens your character and builds your self-esteem.
“Focusing is about saying No” — Steve Jobs
Sleep on it
It’s actually true. Resting improves your ability to listen to your voice.
After a high-quality sleep, you will feel you have a clear head. In the morning, your mind is at its peak of performance. It’s the best timing to learn or read.
Suppose you have an important decision to make, step out of the situation. Take a day off, sleep early, and listen to your voice in the morning.
If you want to improve your sleep quality, you must read Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker.
Meditate
Follow a daily meditation plan, and I’m certain your inner voice will rise.
Meditation allows you to track your thinking. You will start to distinguish between the thoughts of the mind and your inner voice. It’s a massive difference.
With time you will notice your mind’s thoughts come and go, like waves that keep coming at you, but you won’t deviate.
You will build a state of mind that is more aware. You will be less affected by daily challenges while maintaining steadier psychology.
Your inner voice will become your main guiding source. Your true self.
Speak to a Therapist
You don’t need to have psychological issues to see a therapist.
I recommend opening up to a professional counselor to understand yourself.
It’s an investment in you.
You will get honest feedback from a professional who has no personal motives. They only want to help you improve your life and manage your problems.
Successful therapy can be a big step in finding your inner voice.
There are many online counselors to choose from, and the process is quick and easy. Try it a few times, and if you find someone you can connect well, make it part of your life.
Journal Daily
Since I started journaling a few years ago, I have become a different person, and so will you.
Through handwriting, you will discover so many things about you. That is amazing.
Taking out your thoughts puts them in order. It clears your head and offers you peace of mind. I like to call this ‘discharging unnecessary weight,’ or that’s what it feels like.
Once that space is there, more room for your inner voice will open.
With time, your inner voice will take up most of your writing. You will feel it.
Your inner voice will keep getting stronger. Don’t underestimate the power of journaling. Make it a daily habit, aiming once in the morning and once in the evening, and follow it for life.
“In the journal, I don’t express myself more than I could to any person, I create myself.” — Susan Sontag
Do Something New Every Day
You not only search for your inner voice, but you are also building it.
Building a stronger inner voice comes from consistent new experiences.
Always aim to meet new people, travel the world, start new activities, and see new things.
New experiences have the ability to wake up your inner voice. A single experience can create a new passion you never thought of that will change your life. Your passions come from your true voice, so they are a key indicator.
New experiences open new gates of understanding and learning. This will bring greater clarity to your inner voice.
Finding the inner voice and following it all the way
Once you’ve reached a point where your inner voice is leading you, the possibilities are endless.
There will be times where people will criticize or blame you. Many may object to what you are doing.
Write the following three words somewhere you can see every day: ‘I Trust You.’
Your inner voice is your biggest weapon.
Once you’re holding it, the sky is the limit.
